It's a Festivus for all of us.

And my gift to you is another edition of tales from the workplace.

I know it's not what you asked for but by golly it's all I have.

Characters -
D - Boss
E - Second in Charge
A - coworker in my section
R - supervisor in Purchasing section
RT - coworker in Purchasing section


- R and RT decided to bring lunch for everybody today since it's the last work day before Christmas. R has the greens cooking in her crockpot in our kitchen and RT picked up some fried chicken on his way in to work this morning. Now, it's a running joke in our office that if we have any kind of goodies (cookies, cakes, etc.) in our kitchen that you better get some before RT gets in there because he'll eat it all. R's always telling me that RT will bring 2 sandwiches for lunch and he normally eats both of those, whatever else he brings (chips or cookies) and then finish off the rest of her lunch. The guy can eat people.
So, I get to work this morning and RT's standing there talking to D. I wasn't paying any attention to them until I heard RT say "I had to eat one of those chicken legs on the way to work this morning." Yeah, I had to ask him about it. He said that he couldn't help it because the chicken smelled so good. Then he said "a chicken leg for breakfast is good!"

- Bananer called me yesterday while he was driving to MS for work. We were talking about something and then all of a sudden he said "Holy Shit! I'm in Cuba*!" So I told him to stop in the Welcome Center to see the vending machine my agency has there. About this time D was walking by my office and I caught him stop out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look at him and he said "He must be in Cuba. Did you really just tell him to stop and look at our vending machine?" I said yes and he started laughing. He then went in to E's office and told him that I just told Bananer to stop and look at our vending machine.

- A and I spend a lot of time talking during the day because we really don't have anything else to do half the time. We talk about anything from clothes and food to our personal issues. Here lately I've had a hard time paying attention to some of what she's saying because she has a bad habit of saying "you know what I'm saying" after every other word. I find myself fixated on how many times she says it. This morning though she was telling me a story about something and she had a new overly used word....like. It was like this and like then like this like that and then....URGH!!!!

So with that people I leave you with this....have a like Merry Christmas and like it's a Festivus for all of us, you know what I mean?

*Yes, there is a Cuba, AL.

Tales from the Workplace 12/05/06 Edition

My department has a big Staff Conference going on in another town this week. It started yesterday and ends tomorrow. I, like everyone else in my little office, decided not to go. I haven't been to one of these conferences in the 3 (almost 4) years that I've worked here. I really haven't seen the point in going, other than not having to do any work (and it's not like I do a whole lot lately anyways because this is the time of the year when my workload slows down), so I always skip it. Sure, it would be nice to meet some of these people from the other offices across the state that I only know through phone calls and emails but that's not enough incentive for me to sit through boring speakers that talk about things that don't pertain to me and my job.

So, since I decided to skip it again this year I got stuck with switchboard relief duty today. No biggie really. I only had to sit up there for 15 minutes this morning and 15 minutes this afternoon so that the person that's covering it for the regular receptionist, who did go to the conference, can pee and whatnot. Sounds like a piece of cake right? I mean it normally is. You sit up there, answer the phone, transfer the caller to the person they need to speak with and voila! Yeah, well I wasn't quite prepared for GhettoFest 2006 this morning so my normal piece of cake switchboard duty turned into a case of "What the hell is she thinking?!"

I got up there this morning and the chick was playing a local rap station through the computer. See, we're not allowed to listen to streaming music on our work computers because it slows down the department's servers. We're not allowed to watch video either. Even if it is important news videos. Like the coverage of Susy Q winning Miss Hole in the Wall 2006 (yes folks, that is important news around here). So, not only was she listening to rap music at the switchboard, which to me is very unprofessional and tacky, she was listening to it through the website. You can only imagine how irritated I was when the song would pause to buffer and then start playing again only to buffer for 30 more seconds.

Then...when I went back up there this afternoon she was on a personal call on the switchboard phone. Not a "Hey...your child is sick, come get them" kind of call either. Again, very unprofessional if you ask me. What if some bigwig came walking in and heard her talking about sister girl's baby daddy's cousin who shot the drug dealer because he really needed that crack rock so that he could sell it to pay his child support?! Yeah...not very good.

Okay...let me add this...I have nothing against this chick. I really don't know her. I had only talked to her one time before today and that was to tell her where to sign for her card key to the building. So..this is not a personal attack against her or anything like that. And I'm sure that phone call was not about sister girl's baby daddy's cousin who shot the drug dealer.

Just for Bananer...

Wow...look at that...I said goodbye and I got dragged back for an encore. Bananer commented that I have some great work stories I could blog about so I felt like I should share this one with you.

I went outside on my break this afternoon and I could smell a horrible smell coming out of the door to the other building. One of the chicks who's office is right inside the door stuck her head out and said that they couldn't figure out where it was coming from. It smelled like cheap weave burning (I know what that smells like because this chick I knew in Jr. High lit her's on fire one day just for the shits and giggles). I came back in and sent my boss man to investigate.

He came back to our office shaking his head muttering something about people over there being idiots. This is nothing new but my coworker and I felt like a good laugh so we asked him if he found the smell. He said yes and that we would never believe where it was coming from. Some chick in our Accounting section had plugged her space heater (why she needed her space heater since it's the end of November and 70 degrees outside I don't know. I mean people are walking around in shorts and tshirts right now.) into the power cord for her computer (which boss man and our computer services people are always saying not to do). The damn plug caught on fire. Burned it right up. Come to find out she didn't even know it was on fire until she heard the sizzling noise.

Now let me tell you this...my coworker had walked over to the other building during her lunch break (between 11:30 and 12:00) and could smell something funky. My boss man found the burned up plug around 2:45 - 3:00. These people were sitting there smelling the burning plastic for hours and nobody said anything. Great huh?

It's been fun. No really, it has. It's okay to cry. I understand.

I'm going to miss you too. I was having so much fun trying to come up with something interesting to blog about everyday. It's going to be really hard for me to stay away from here but I think it will be better for us if we don't see each other everyday. Trust me...you'll thank me later. You see, I'm only doing this for your own good. I know what a bore some of my posts have been this month and I really want you to be able to walk away from this without a concussion from beating your head against the wall. Repeatedly.

I'll still post so don't think I am abandoning you completely. I just don't think I have it in me to post everyday. Who knows. I might. There's that smile I was looking for. Yes, I will post as much as I can as the wedding plans start to progress. I'm sure you will tickled pink to hear all about it. Just like I'm sure you're going to be thrilled when I tell you that I've spent the last couple of hours trying to find wedding locations for this wonderful town we live in and have not been able to find squat.

You see Bananer and I don't want a church wedding. We're not church people(Easy there killer. Put down the "You are not Christian people!" comments. We have our faith and our beliefs...we just don't believe in mass worship.) I had my heart set on getting married at the local Museum of Fine Arts but I found out from my coworker that they only do receptions there. Well, what fun would it be to have the ceremony in a church (that we're not members of) and then drive to the museum for the reception? You got it...not a whole lot. Now I'm struggling to find a sophisticated location like that to have both our ceremony and reception at. I kind of want an outdoor wedding but I want it to be in the evening. And I want it to be classy. That narrows my options way down.

On top of all that I can't send in for a price quote from the two locations I did find because we haven't set a date yet. We can't set a date until we know how much we need to save. Great. Looks like we're just going around in circles chasing our tails.

Okay, I know you don't want me to go but I must. My daily posts here have come to an end. Unless you're really nice and bribe me with nice things. Maybe then I'll consider posting everyday. Just remember, it's going to take a lot to get me to post on the weekends again.

Have I told you lately...

How much Blogger sucks? I just spent over an hour working on my stolen blog post and then Blogger decided to go and fuck it up. Now I have to post this pathetic little post about how much I hate Blogger because I'm too tired to try to fix my first post. Great.