I know you don't want to say goodbye but we must. It's better for me if we stop seeing each other. Yes, we did have some good times. Like that time when we were out with HeHo and she knocked us off of the bar stool. Yeah, that was pretty funny. And then there was that time when you burned a big ass hole in the back seat of my parents' Explorer (that they have not seen yet). That wasn't funny. No, not at all.
Yes, I am sure this is what I want. I want to be able to wake up in the morning and not feel like I'm dying because we partied too much the night before. I want to be able to still smell my shower gel at the end of the day (which has been really nice this week). I want to be able to run after Little Man without having to stop to catch my breath.
I'm sorry Marlboro Man but this is the end.