Friday, December 22, 2006

It's a Festivus for all of us.

And my gift to you is another edition of tales from the workplace.

I know it's not what you asked for but by golly it's all I have.

Characters -
D - Boss
E - Second in Charge
A - coworker in my section
R - supervisor in Purchasing section
RT - coworker in Purchasing section

- R and RT decided to bring lunch for everybody today since it's the last work day before Christmas. R has the greens cooking in her crockpot in our kitchen and RT picked up some fried chicken on his way in to work this morning. Now, it's a running joke in our office that if we have any kind of goodies (cookies, cakes, etc.) in our kitchen that you better get some before RT gets in there because he'll eat it all. R's always telling me that RT will bring 2 sandwiches for lunch and he normally eats both of those, whatever else he brings (chips or cookies) and then finish off the rest of her lunch. The guy can eat people.
So, I get to work this morning and RT's standing there talking to D. I wasn't paying any attention to them until I heard RT say "I had to eat one of those chicken legs on the way to work this morning." Yeah, I had to ask him about it. He said that he couldn't help it because the chicken smelled so good. Then he said "a chicken leg for breakfast is good!"

- Bananer called me yesterday while he was driving to MS for work. We were talking about something and then all of a sudden he said "Holy Shit! I'm in Cuba*!" So I told him to stop in the Welcome Center to see the vending machine my agency has there. About this time D was walking by my office and I caught him stop out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look at him and he said "He must be in Cuba. Did you really just tell him to stop and look at our vending machine?" I said yes and he started laughing. He then went in to E's office and told him that I just told Bananer to stop and look at our vending machine.

- A and I spend a lot of time talking during the day because we really don't have anything else to do half the time. We talk about anything from clothes and food to our personal issues. Here lately I've had a hard time paying attention to some of what she's saying because she has a bad habit of saying "you know what I'm saying" after every other word. I find myself fixated on how many times she says it. This morning though she was telling me a story about something and she had a new overly used It was like this and like then like this like that and then....URGH!!!!

So with that people I leave you with this....have a like Merry Christmas and like it's a Festivus for all of us, you know what I mean?

*Yes, there is a Cuba, AL.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Tales from the Workplace 12/05/06 Edition

My department has a big Staff Conference going on in another town this week. It started yesterday and ends tomorrow. I, like everyone else in my little office, decided not to go. I haven't been to one of these conferences in the 3 (almost 4) years that I've worked here. I really haven't seen the point in going, other than not having to do any work (and it's not like I do a whole lot lately anyways because this is the time of the year when my workload slows down), so I always skip it. Sure, it would be nice to meet some of these people from the other offices across the state that I only know through phone calls and emails but that's not enough incentive for me to sit through boring speakers that talk about things that don't pertain to me and my job.

So, since I decided to skip it again this year I got stuck with switchboard relief duty today. No biggie really. I only had to sit up there for 15 minutes this morning and 15 minutes this afternoon so that the person that's covering it for the regular receptionist, who did go to the conference, can pee and whatnot. Sounds like a piece of cake right? I mean it normally is. You sit up there, answer the phone, transfer the caller to the person they need to speak with and voila! Yeah, well I wasn't quite prepared for GhettoFest 2006 this morning so my normal piece of cake switchboard duty turned into a case of "What the hell is she thinking?!"

I got up there this morning and the chick was playing a local rap station through the computer. See, we're not allowed to listen to streaming music on our work computers because it slows down the department's servers. We're not allowed to watch video either. Even if it is important news videos. Like the coverage of Susy Q winning Miss Hole in the Wall 2006 (yes folks, that is important news around here). So, not only was she listening to rap music at the switchboard, which to me is very unprofessional and tacky, she was listening to it through the website. You can only imagine how irritated I was when the song would pause to buffer and then start playing again only to buffer for 30 more seconds.

Then...when I went back up there this afternoon she was on a personal call on the switchboard phone. Not a "Hey...your child is sick, come get them" kind of call either. Again, very unprofessional if you ask me. What if some bigwig came walking in and heard her talking about sister girl's baby daddy's cousin who shot the drug dealer because he really needed that crack rock so that he could sell it to pay his child support?! Yeah...not very good.

Okay...let me add this...I have nothing against this chick. I really don't know her. I had only talked to her one time before today and that was to tell her where to sign for her card key to the building. So..this is not a personal attack against her or anything like that. And I'm sure that phone call was not about sister girl's baby daddy's cousin who shot the drug dealer.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Just for Bananer...

Wow...look at that...I said goodbye and I got dragged back for an encore. Bananer commented that I have some great work stories I could blog about so I felt like I should share this one with you.

I went outside on my break this afternoon and I could smell a horrible smell coming out of the door to the other building. One of the chicks who's office is right inside the door stuck her head out and said that they couldn't figure out where it was coming from. It smelled like cheap weave burning (I know what that smells like because this chick I knew in Jr. High lit her's on fire one day just for the shits and giggles). I came back in and sent my boss man to investigate.

He came back to our office shaking his head muttering something about people over there being idiots. This is nothing new but my coworker and I felt like a good laugh so we asked him if he found the smell. He said yes and that we would never believe where it was coming from. Some chick in our Accounting section had plugged her space heater (why she needed her space heater since it's the end of November and 70 degrees outside I don't know. I mean people are walking around in shorts and tshirts right now.) into the power cord for her computer (which boss man and our computer services people are always saying not to do). The damn plug caught on fire. Burned it right up. Come to find out she didn't even know it was on fire until she heard the sizzling noise.

Now let me tell you coworker had walked over to the other building during her lunch break (between 11:30 and 12:00) and could smell something funky. My boss man found the burned up plug around 2:45 - 3:00. These people were sitting there smelling the burning plastic for hours and nobody said anything. Great huh?

It's been fun. No really, it has. It's okay to cry. I understand.

I'm going to miss you too. I was having so much fun trying to come up with something interesting to blog about everyday. It's going to be really hard for me to stay away from here but I think it will be better for us if we don't see each other everyday. Trust'll thank me later. You see, I'm only doing this for your own good. I know what a bore some of my posts have been this month and I really want you to be able to walk away from this without a concussion from beating your head against the wall. Repeatedly.

I'll still post so don't think I am abandoning you completely. I just don't think I have it in me to post everyday. Who knows. I might. There's that smile I was looking for. Yes, I will post as much as I can as the wedding plans start to progress. I'm sure you will tickled pink to hear all about it. Just like I'm sure you're going to be thrilled when I tell you that I've spent the last couple of hours trying to find wedding locations for this wonderful town we live in and have not been able to find squat.

You see Bananer and I don't want a church wedding. We're not church people(Easy there killer. Put down the "You are not Christian people!" comments. We have our faith and our beliefs...we just don't believe in mass worship.) I had my heart set on getting married at the local Museum of Fine Arts but I found out from my coworker that they only do receptions there. Well, what fun would it be to have the ceremony in a church (that we're not members of) and then drive to the museum for the reception? You got it...not a whole lot. Now I'm struggling to find a sophisticated location like that to have both our ceremony and reception at. I kind of want an outdoor wedding but I want it to be in the evening. And I want it to be classy. That narrows my options way down.

On top of all that I can't send in for a price quote from the two locations I did find because we haven't set a date yet. We can't set a date until we know how much we need to save. Great. Looks like we're just going around in circles chasing our tails.

Okay, I know you don't want me to go but I must. My daily posts here have come to an end. Unless you're really nice and bribe me with nice things. Maybe then I'll consider posting everyday. Just remember, it's going to take a lot to get me to post on the weekends again.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Have I told you lately...

How much Blogger sucks? I just spent over an hour working on my stolen blog post and then Blogger decided to go and fuck it up. Now I have to post this pathetic little post about how much I hate Blogger because I'm too tired to try to fix my first post. Great.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I've got nothing yet again...

This is why I said I was not going to blog at night anymore. I have absolutely nothing to blog about. I guess I can try to do that Tuesday Ten that everyone else does. Here goes...ten random things.

1. I feel like there's a high school prom going on in my head right now.
2. I think the little sinus monsters are doing the YMCA right now.
3. If they do the Macarena I'm going to bang my head against the wall and hope that I knock myself out.
4. Damn "winters" here in the South. How can it be the end of November and the highs be in the 70's?!
5. I blame this for the krunkfest going on inside my head.
6. Bananer's sitting here trying to read me the latest bashing of the Alabama head coach issue from his beloved Auburn forum.
7. I had to give him my "I'm not amused" face.
8. Thank goodness he understands the face.
9. That and our daily undressing ritual are some of the reasons why I said yes when he asked me to marry him.
10. I can still smell the Nag Champa incense that I burned two days ago.

Well there ya go....10 random things from me. I hope you enjoy. I'm off to bed. Hopefully the krunkfest is almost over. If not...I'm unplugging the damn sound equipment.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Yada, yada, yada....

Here we are again at 10 pm and I have nothing to blog about. Maybe I should go back to blogging during the day. At least it would make my day at work go by. But then again, now that shithead's no longer working with us I don't have anything to blog about during the day.

So...with that you get TV Land's list of 100 Greatest Catchphrases. Enjoy!

Sunday, November 26, 2006

We interrupt your regularly scheduled show to bring you this..

It's Sunday and that normally means it's time for a church sign but I don't have one this week. Bananer took me to dinner and a play at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival tonight so I did not have a chance to find a church sign today. I had planned on finding one when we were out running errands this afternoon but the wonderful staff at one of the local McDonald's ruined that when they failed to give me a fork for my salad*.

So...yeah...Bananer and I went to dinner and to see Disney's Beauty and the Beast at the Shakespeare Festival tonight and it was awesome. I don't really think awesome describes how great it was. They really did a great job and I'm glad we got the opportunity to go.

Now I'm off to bed to try to get "Be Our Guest" out of my head.

*We stopped to get McDonald's on our way to pick up our tickets to the play tonight. We were going to eat at the park outside the Shakespeare Festival but not having a fork for my salad ruined that. So, we had to take our food back to the apartment to eat. I don't know why I was expecting them to actually put the fork in the bag**. How silly of me.

**Our local McDonald's are staffed with some not so smart people. Well, I can't say that they're not so smart because I'm sure some of them might be smart. I think it's more a matter of not caring.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

It's Saturday and I have nothing.

Yup...I have nothing to give you people today. So...this is what you get. Some lame ass quiz about what kind of English you speak. My aunts* would get a kick out of this since they love to make fun of my Southern accent.

Your Linguistic Profile:
60% General American English
30% Dixie
5% Yankee
0% Midwestern
0% Upper Midwestern

*My mom is one of ten(5 boys and 5 girls) from upstate NY. They all pick on me for my accent since I was raised down here. Nice huh? : )

Friday, November 24, 2006

So the planning begins....

You would think that I had been expecting a proposal for awhile now if you saw the number of dresses I already had saved in my favorites on the David's Bridal website. Geez.

We had a little scare today. I thought I was going to have to take Bananer to the emergency room because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack. We took my ring in to a local fine jewelry store today to get it resized since he bought it at his family's jewelers in Macon, GA. We took it to this particular store because they told him on the phone that they were 99.9% sure they could get it done today. We got there and after waiting a few minutes some chick, who was obviously new, started doing the paperwork. First she tried to size my finger with the wrong sizers. Then she went to test the diamonds and after she put the tester on the ring she came over to us and said "It's not registering that these are real diamonds." Bananer just about freaked. Another chick was standing right there and could see the look on his face and she said to the first chick "You don't ever tell a customer that. You come get me first and I'll double check it." Then she put the tester on it and said that they were real. The first chick just didn't do it right. Whew!!

So...they told us that they weren't sure it would be done today but they would call us if it was. We left to run some more errands and Bananer called up there to check on it. They told him that it should be done by 6 and sure enough they called us at 5:30 and said it was ready. Let me tell ya this...the ring looks even better now that it fits right. I can't stop looking at it and smiling. Bananer can't stop smiling either when he catches me looking at it. Shit...he even called me his wife today. : )

I just hope I don't turn into one of those horrible bridezillas and scare him off before we get married. Well, I guess if he can put up with my grouchiness in the morning I should be okay.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Well now you can call me the future Mrs. Bananer!'ve got that right...Bananer got down on one knee in front of my whole family and proposed today. Of course I said yes. How could I not? He's everything I was looking for and everything I didn't know I wanted all in one.

The ring is absolutely gorgeous and has some sentimental value to it other than the fact that it's my ring. The center stone and 3 of the 6 surrounding stones came from his Grandmother's ring. And the wedding bands that go with it are from Mama Bananer's first ring (Papa Bananer had a new ring made for her for their anniversary). I would attach a photo for everyone to see but the ones I took with my camera phone didn't turn out too good. I promise you I will have photos up as soon as I can get some.

Oh, and on a side note, my cheesecake came out wonderfully today. So much so that my nephew ate two pieces. Woohoo!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Well just call me Betty Crocker.

I've been on this domesticated kick lately. I don't know what it is but for some reason I want to cook and bake. There's not a whole lot I can do here in Bananer's tiny ass apartment but I'm trying.

The other night I made us Monte Cristo* sandwiches for dinner and he said they were "damn good." So much so, that he called his father and bragged about them. Papa Bananer said to tell me to "keep up the practice" because he wants me to make them next time we go to their house.

Last night I baked this awesome Cherry Danish that my mom made the other day. Bananer loved it so much that I found the recipe and made one just for him. He gave it his seal of approval today.

And tonight I'm baking a Pumpkin Cheesecake to take to my parents' house tomorrow. It's in the oven as we speak. I even made the crust from scratch. Score extra points for that.

So...with that said....I hope everyone out in bloglandia has a Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow.

*There's this awesome restaurant in Macon, GA (where the Bananer family lives) called Cheddar's that serves these kick ass Monte Cristo sandwiches. Bananer got me hooked on them the last couple of times we went to his parents' house. I had to find a recipe similar to there's so that we could have our own version here. I think I did pretty damn good if I do say so myself.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

It's that time again....

It's hard to believe that the year is almost over. Thanksgiving is just two days away and Christmas will be here before we know it. Time to start the shopping.

I hate getting out there with the crowds but I think I might try to brave it and do some shopping Friday. That is if I can manage to get up that early. We'll see.

If you haven't checked this out yet you should. It's a list of the items that will be on sale on Black Friday. Happy shopping!!

Monday, November 20, 2006


Tonight is just not my night for blogging. I'm tired and unmotivated so I'm having a hard time coming up with something to blog about. Then, on top of that, I wrote the same thing a minute ago and stupid Blogger deleted my damn post. Great. So, with that I'm just going to give you this and call it a night.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

It's Sunday and you know what that means...

Time for a church sign!!! I drive by this particular church several times a week and they always have great sayings on their sign. They actually have two signs with two different sayings but I think this one was the better of the two.

I thought of some things as I stood there on the street corner taking this picture tonight. 1) I need to start getting out there during the day to take these pictures because it's a pain in the ass trying to get the camera lined up just right to avoid the bright light on the signs. 2) I need to start using my real camera* for these pictures because I had some issues getting the picture to send from my phone tonight. 3) I need to wear a sign or something that says "Owner of where you can find weekly church sign blogs" because I can only imagine what the people driving by are thinking every week I'm standing there taking a picture of the church sign with my camera phone.

So...with that...I leave you with one of my new favorite sayings courtesy of a guy featured on Extreme Makeover:Home Edition tonight...."So many things to think about, but nothing to worry about." I'm not sure how that goes with this post but it's a great saying.

*I need the cable to connect my camera to the computer. Until I get that, or a new camera (hint, hint), I'm forced to use my camera phone for these weekly church sign photos.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

A little of this and a little of that.

I was so caught up in my utter dislike for the teeny boppers last night that I forgot to post about the rest of our night out. Yesterday was mine and Bananer's 8 month anniversary. It's hard to believe that he's managed to put up with my shit for 8 months now. Wow...he must be a glutton for punishment. I kid, I kid.

Anyhoo....he sent me message at work yesterday asking if I had anything "nice" to wear at his apartment because he had a plan for last night. I told him that I did and proceeded to bug the living shit out of him about what this plan was. I, of course, had already figured it out but I wanted to see if he would tell me. It turns out that he was going to surprise me with tickets to see Beauty and the Beast at the Alabama Shakespeare Festival. They were sold* out so we decided on dinner and movie. Worked for me because dinner was goooooood and the movie wasn't too bad either.

*He did get us tickets to go next Sunday. Awwww....isn't he a sweetheart?! : )

Iron Bowl 2006:

For those of you that might stumble across this blog and don't know what the Iron Bowl is it's the annual Alabama/Auburn game. We take our football pretty seriously down here in the South. One of the first questions people asked when they meet someone new is if they are an Alabama or an Auburn fan. I've seen lots of families divided over this.

See, I'm an Alabama fan. I'm not a die hard fan like some people but I do love my Crimson Tide. My sister and her family are huge Auburn fans. So much so that my niece and nephew refuse to touch anything in the store that says Alabama on it. And here's where things get a little sticky....Bananer's an Auburn fan. Die hard Auburn fan. I'm talking Auburn shit all over his apartment. I know I should have let this be the red flag when we first met but I managed to overlook it. He's a die hard fan but he's considerate of the fact that I'm an Alabama fan. He even bought me a new shirt this year.

Okay....let me get to the point.....Auburn has won the last 4 Iron Bowls in a row. They've had some stupid "Fear of the Thumb" campaign going all year. It got pretty annoying if you ask me. I made a bet with Bananer that the loser would have to wear the other person's colors and get paraded around all of our hang outs. Unfortunately it looks like I'll be wearing orange and blue. That's right folks....the Auburn fans have started the "Fear the Six" campaign. My beloved Crimson Tide lost today. Eh....shit happens. I'm joining the "Fire Mike Shula" campaign.

Friday, November 17, 2006

This is why I hate going to the movies on a Friday night.

I can not stand the freakin teeny boppers. I always have to stop and wonder "Was I this annoying when I was that age?!" They are loud, rude and just plain out annoying. And it's not just at the movies. I can't stand going to the mall most of the time because of the teeny boppers. Don't think that going during a week day will help you avoid them either. Not in this town. It's like I have some kind of inner magnet for teeny boppers. The more I try to avoid them the more I see them.

This bothers me a little because I don't know why my dislike for them is so strong. I don't want to be this way but it's like the few times that I try to like them get overrun by their utter lack of disrepect for their elders.

Now, before anybody starts thinking that I am a horrible person that dislikes all teeny boppers let me say that their not all bad. I just can't stand the ones that are loud, rude and annoying. I mean come on, if you see that you're standing in front of the paper towels and somebody needs to dry their hands...move. Don't just stand there and continue chatting with your friends. And if you see that your friend is standing in front of the paper towels and somebody needs to dry their hands...tell your friend to move. And after you move out of the way of the paper towels don't stand in front of the door.

Maybe I should just not go to the movies on a Friday night. Eh....maybe not.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Day 16....whew! Almost there!

This blogging everyday is hard man! I've been sitting here racking my brain all day trying to come up with something to blog about. I thought about blogging about the horrible storms that ravaged the South yesterday but I forgot to ask my friend if I could use her sister's pictures of the damage on my here. I didn't want to just post them without asking permission, ya know?

I tried to find some interesting tidbit on the headlines today to post about but that didn't work out. I just didn't see anything that screamed out "BLOG ME!!"

So....I figured that 1) I could just leave you with this lame ass excuse for a blog about how I can't think of anything to blog about or 2) I could give you this nifty little list of my favorite movies. Lucky for you I decided to go with number 2. I'm not going to say how many movies I'm going to list because I'm not sure if I can list 10 of them. Or I might be able to post more than 10. Shit...we'll just number them as we go. favorite movies in no particular order.

1) Grease - I can turn the volume down and say just about every word to this movie. And sing the songs. And do the dances. (I'm not sure I should be admitting that but hey...who cares right?) Major kudos to Bananer by the way. He had never seen Grease before we started dating so I brought over my DVD one night. We decided to watch it in bed, and as Bananer soon learned that is a bad idea for me. I conked out within the first five minutes. He, however, stayed up and watched the whole movie without me. I think he was trying to suck up though because we had only been dating for a couple of weeks then.

2) An Affair to Remember - Cary. Grant. Need I say more?

3) Father Goose/Operation Petticoat - Again...Cary. Grant.

4) Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - This movie rocks! I think part of the reason I love this movie so much is because it has a little bit of sentimental value for me. I'm going to spare you the details on that and leave you with this..."How bout some ether?"

5) Dazed and Confused - I think I was born in the wrong generation. I love anything to do with the 70's. The music, the clothes, the "free love"...shit, the whole nine yards. (The soundtrack rocks by the way.)

6) Sixteen Candles/The Breakfast Club/Weird Science - I'm a child of the 80's/early 90's though so of course I love these movies.

7) The Lord of the Rings Trilogy - I'll admit it...I like Sci Fi/Fantasy shit. I'm still waiting for the perfect opportunity to sit down and watch all three back to back to back. I need to clear a whole weekend for that.

8) Sweet Home Alabama - I'm a chick so of course I like chick flicks. I can watch this one over and over and over again because 1) I have a thing for Reese Witherspoon (not that kind of thing) and 2) it's just a cute ass movie.

9) Drop Dead Fred - I used to drive my mom crazy with this one. I had to watch it everytime it came on TV.

10) Clerks/Office Space/Mallrats/Chasing Amy/Dogma/Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back - These movies have a sentimental reason behind them too but I won't get into that either. I just need Chasing Amy (and of course Clerks 2 (which I have not seen yet) when it comes out on DVD) to finish my collection.

11) Clueless - Yup....I'll admit it...I like this movie. I remember going to the theater to see it when it came out. And let's not forget the MTV special they had when it opened. I watched that like my life was depending on it. If there's nothing on TV I can count on this movie to entertain me. I can turn down the volume and recite almost the entire movie with this one too.

12) White Christmas - Bing Crosby is awesome people. My mom, my sisters and I watched this movie every Christmas Eve for as long as I can remember. It was always our family tradition to watch the movie and eat a box of chocolate. This reminds me....I either need to find our VHS (no clue where it is) or buy the DVD before Christmas. I think I'll just buy the DVD.

Well there ya go....I gave ya 12. Be happy with that and feel free to post your favorite movies too. Don't forget to leave me a comment letting me know you did.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Ride Emmitt Ride!!!

I can't tell you how happy I am that Emmitt and Cheryl won this year's DWTS. I loved Cheryl last year and was really happy to see she was partnered with Emmitt for this year. She really did a great job helping him to transform from an average guy into a ballroom dancer.

Hey Bananer....I want to learn how to dance like that. Hint...hint....hint.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The plan is in motion or whatever that means.

Bananer has a problem. It's not necessarily a bad problem. Well, not for me at least. See, he has this problem with telling me too much information about something I should know nothing about. Yup..."the plan is in motion." I know this because he told me.

Now what is this plan you ask. Let's just say this plan involves a certain piece of jewelry for a certain important finger. Apparently other people, my family and his boss included, know about this plan. But "nobody knows all of the plan" so I won't be able to sucker somebody into telling me.

I do know that Christmas, my birthday in January and our cruise in March (which will be our one year anniversary) have been mentioned for the possible plan deadline. Knowing Bananer it's going to be some random day in the middle of the week or something.

Yeah....the plan is in motion.

Monday, November 13, 2006

So I stole this from somebody....blah...blah...blah

I found this one a blog on Yahoo 360 that I read all the time. I never post these kinds of things because I enjoy making myself try to come up with something to blog about but this one caught my attention. It seemed like something fun to do and I hope you will all do it and post it on your blogs. If you do, be sure to leave me a comment letting me know you did it so I can go check it out.

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Would the Soundtrack Be?
The Rules: 1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits – AhHa - Take on Me (yeah...Take on Me....)
Waking Up- Orgy - Gender (hmmm.....)
First Day of School – The Sundays - Wild Horses (saying as how this song came from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer soundtrack I'm a little worried about this school)
Falling in Love- Christina Aguliera - Get Mine, Get Yours (ummm....)
Fight Song- Garbage - Sex is Not the Enemy (hell yeah!)
Break up song- Gwen Stefani - Danger Zone (kind of strange for a break up song if you ask me)
Prom- Everything But the Girl - Blame [Fabio Remix] (looks like my prom is an electronic festival)
Life- Britney Spears - Everytime (why did it have to land on this song for my life?!)
Mental Breakdown- Hank Williams, Jr - Family Tradition (hehe...guess this mental breakdown is caused by lots and lots of drinking)
Driving- Kenny Chesney - She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy (no comment on this one)
Flashback- Dave Mathews Band - Everyday (hmmm....)
Getting back together- Travel - Pray to Jerusalem [Euphoria Remix] (sure...a trance song is great for getting back together)
Wedding- The Bravery - Give In (Give In....Hahahaha!!!!)
Birth of Child- Sheryl Crow - You're an Original (well of course they're an original)
Final Battle- Flyleaf - Fully Alive (hehehehe......)
Death Scene- Kenny Chesney - Old Blue Chair (another Kenny Chesney song...well at least it's an old blue chair)
Funeral- Covenant - Dead Stars (wow...a drum and bass song at my funeral...who was in charge of the music?!)
End Credit- Nelly Furtado - Turn Off the Light (yeah...ummmm....the name works...)

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Somebody please explain this to me...

It's Sunday so it's time for....a church sign!

I've been seeing this sign for the past couple of weeks and I still can't figure out what it means. Any thoughts?

New nickname fad....

Bananer and I were watching TV a couple of weeks ago when a Jarod from Subway came on. Bananer made some comment like "Shut up JaFo!" and I just looked at him trying to figure out what the hell he just said. Then without skipping a beat he said "I guess mine would be TaCa." I still couldn't figure out what the hell he was talking about so he explained it to me. It's really quite simple. You just take the first two letters of your first name and combine them with the first two letters of your last name. Pretty funny shit man. Well, at least my niece and nephew thought so.

What would yours be? Any funny ones out there? Mine sounds like a sneeze(I don't have any vowels in mine).

Friday, November 10, 2006

He likes me. He really, really likes me.

I guess it's true what "they" say about it being so easy when you're with the right person. I'm noticing more and more how easy it is to be with Bananer. We agree on just about everything and the only time we fight is if he tries to talk to me first thing in the morning*. I'm sure I blogged about all this before but I felt it was time to say it again.

With that being said I'll get to the point of this blog. My nephew, Tad**, is having some issues lately. My mom and I have come to the conclusion that most of it is because he doesn't have a father figure around***. Bananer, being the great guy that he is, managed to round up tickets to the Auburn/Georgia game tomorrow. Saying as how both Tad and Bananer are both HUGE Auburn fans this was a good thing. Bananer's doing major Uncle duty tomorrow and taking Tad to the game....on his own....without any prodding from me...because it was his idea. Wow, I think I really found a keeper.

So, yeah, there ya have warm fuzzy blog for the day. This NaBloPoMo shit is not as easy as I thought it would be. It kind of sucks trying to come up with a blog idea everyday. You'll just have to deal with my warm fuzzies and random off the wall blogs for the rest of the month. Sucks to be you.

*I am so not a morning person. Trust me...I'll bite your head off if you ask me the simplest thing first thing in the morning.

**Not his real name and I'm glad about that. I would have had to have a serious talk with my sister if she named my nephew Tad. Nothing against people named Tad or anything. Just not my thing.

***My brother-in-law is a civilian contractor in Afghanistan and has been gone since January.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

So this is what "growing up" means. I'm not so sure I like it.

Okay, so I'm having some issues today. Nothing too major....just wondering why some things turned out the way they did.

When I go home for lunch I normally check my Myspace* because I can't check it here at work. I have two people on my friends list that were really good friends of mine in High School. Well, one was my best friend in Jr. High and High School. Anywho....I think I need to back things up a bit and tell you all some background info. I apologize in advance because this post may become long and winded.

My parents decided to move buy a house the summer before I started 7th grade because they did not want me to go to the Jr. High that I was zoned for**. I didn't take the time to meet anybody in the neighborhood that summer because I was too busy sitting inside being the shy, couch potato that I was back then. The first day of school I remember being the most nervous I have ever been up to that point in my life. When the school bus pulled up in front of my house I remember thinking "What if nobody likes me?" The bus doors opened, I climbed up the steps and saw her, the girl that would become one of my best friends at the time and the only "best friend"*** I have left, CB. She said "Hi!" and I think I managed a meek smile. I sat down in the seat across the aisle from her and we talked a little bit on the way to school.

When we got to the school CB introduced me to KB and said that they knew each other from elementary school. KB lived in our neighborhood too but her parents had dropped her off at school that day.

The three of us were inseparable all of 7th and 8th grade. We hung out at each other's houses after school and had the usual slumber parties just about every weekend. The only time we didn't hang out with each other was when the occasional girl fights would come up. We always managed to forgive each other and all was good in our world.

CB was the innocent one that still thought you could get pregnant from kissing until she met me. KB was not so innocent but had her parents believing she was a perfect angel. I was the one who grew up watching whatever I wanted on TV and hearing my family use the colorful language that I'm still fond of to this day. The three of us made great friends because we "meshed well together".

In 9th grade KB got accepted to a new magnet school in town but we still kept in touch after school and on the weekends. We all started to hang out with other people outside of our circle but we still remained very close friends.

High school started and the three of us went in together holding our heads somewhat high because we had each other for support. Junior year brought the addition of CM to our group and we found ourselves starting to spend our time apart more. Some weekends it would be me and CB and hanging out somewhere while KB and CM sat home watching KB's little brother. Other weekends would be me and KB out somewhere while CM and CB hung out at CB's crush's house. Things were still good though because CM was a perfect mix to our group.

Things started to change Senior year. CM and KB started to spend more time together just the two of them and CB and I started to spend more time together just the two of us. CB went through a wild streak that year and once she discovered that she could party with me we spent every weekend doing so. I think CM and KB started to look down on us because they "weren't into that yet". Yeah...good excuse.****

After graduation CM and KB both headed off to school. CB never had any intentions in going and I attempted to but hanging out with her instead of going to class was too tempting for me. This is when CM and KB pretty much stopped talking to us. We were both pretty upset about it but decided that if they thought they were too good to hang out with us we were too good to care. We both carried this attitude for awhile and mine started to fade away. I've never really been one to hold a grudge and I missed the fun times I had with KB and CM. There were things that KB and I would find funny that nobody else would and I wanted that back.

I tried and tried to extend that hand of friendship to them and for awhile it seemed like maybe, just maybe, they were willing to be friends again. I've come to realize now that it's just not going to happen.

Looking at my Myspace today and seeing both CM and KB's profiles I felt a twinge of sadness. Sadness over the friends that I lost and the fact that it's because we've all grown up. They've both done the college thing and CB and I haven't. CB and I each have a child and they don't. Unfortunately for our friendship life has thrown us each different curves and we've drifted apart. Why didn't somebody tell me this was going to happen? If I had known that I would have tried harder to hang on to them. I would have told them then what their friendship really meant to me.

In the words of Aaron Karo....Fuck me.

*Yes, I have one of those dreaded Myspace accounts. And yes, I do know almost every single one of those 101 people on my friends list. There are only 1 or 2 that I don't know and that's because one's a band and the other one is

**Unfortunately for my sister her experience there was the reason my parents didn't want me to go there.

***I still consider her my "best friend" because we've known each so long and have been through a lot together but we're starting to drift apart too. I think Bananer is my best friend now. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes.

****KB would drink her parents Peach Schnapps when they weren't home and she got seriously pie faced on our Senior Cruise. Uh huh....I was the bad one...yeah right. Sometimes I'd like to call her parents up and say "Remember when you told her she couldn't hang out with me and CB because we were bad influences? Yeah...your perfect little angel was drinking your Peach Schnapps and hiding boys in her room."

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The sacrifices we make for fashion

Or the sacrifices we make for comfort

I have been forbidden from wearing my high healed boots by Dr. Bananer, my live in former PT assistant. My ankle started hurting one day last week but it stopped by the time I got home from work so I didn't have him look at it. I let it go thinking that I was probably just sitting funny or something. Well, last night it was hurting so bad that I could barely walk. I had Dr. Bananer, my live in former PT assistant, look at it and he said that it was slightly swollen and more than likely inflamed. He told me that I needed to wear flat shoes for the next couple of days so that my ankle could heal.

You can only imagine how heartbroken I was this morning when I put on these pants and couldn't put on my boots. The pants just don't look as cute without the boots.

So....this got me to thinking. Would you rather sacrifice for fashion? Or sacrifice for comfort?

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Gee I only have 15 years to get this stuff....

Came across !=8782">this article today. Am I the only one that noticed the suggestions they made were e.x.p.e.n.s.i.v.e.? And why do I suddenly have the urge to go out and spend a massive amount of money on a YSL tux?

*edited to say....Somehow Blogger screwed up yesterday and deleted my link. This sucks. Big time. That article was pretty interesting and now I can't share it with you because A) Blogger screwed up and 2) I don't remember where I found the article in the first place. Great.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Mr. Roy's Bait and Tackle

My Monday started off with a bit of drama. I got a call from somebody in another office saying that they had some drama with a gas station regarding the gas cards we use here at work. Turns out that a couple of weeks ago he stopped in at Mr. Roy's Bait and Tackle to get gas. The card was denied* at the pump so he went inside to get a manual approval. He called the company, they gave him the approval code and the chick working at the station did a manual credit card receipt. No biggie right? Wrong!

He called me first thing this morning to tell me that he had a message from somebody else at Mr. Roy's Bait and Tackle saying that the first chick used the wrong slip and they needed him to bring the card back so that they could rerun it. He was freaking out a little so I told him that I would take care of it. Here's how the conversation went with the chick at Mr. Roy's Bait and Tackle.

Mr. Roy's Bait and Tackle chick: I need him to bring that card back so we can rerun it.

Me: We have 13 cars in our fleet and we have people that use them to drive all over the state on a daily basis. I can't guarentee that somebody is going to be back out your way** anytime soon for us to do that and nobody's going to make a special trip for this.

Mr. Roy's Bait and Tackle chick: Well he was obviously new and didn't know what he was doing. I know my girl wouldn't have put it on the wrong slip. You need to figure something out so that we can get paid for this.

Yep....she was trying to blame our guy for her girl's mistake. does that make sense? Some people...I tell ya.

*I think he was entering the wrong code.

**Mr. Roy's Bait and Tackle is located at least 2 hours from our office.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Only in the South

I enjoy reading the *many church signs around town. Some of them are corny and some of them really make you think. Today, however, I came across one that had me shaking my head in disbelief. I actually made my mom stop the car (we were out running some errands) so that I could get a picture of it just for you, my faithful readers.

The only thing I can say about this sign is.....only in the South.

I'm thinking that I should start a weekly church sign posting. What do you think? Would you like to see them?

*Trust me....there are plenty of churches around. It seems like there's at least two on every corner.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Looking good

Wow it's nice to have money (well, it's nice for *Bananer to have money). We finally did some much needed shopping today. I desperately needed some new clothes for work. Now I have pants that are **Mom approved. Woohoo!!!!!!

Holy shit people...avoid major retail stores during a sale. It's a mess and a nightmare. Trust me. I think I'll do my Christmas shopping online this year just to avoid the crowds.

*I didn't get that many suggestions for a new name for The Boyfriend so I decided to use the name that has already been in use between a friend of ours and me. Works for me and works for him. I did push for Twig and Berries but he didn't go for it. I wonder why.

**My mom has been complaining about my ass crack showing for quite some time now. She approved of all the pants I bought today so I think I'll be okay in that department.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Just an ear full of music makes the day go go go by...

Do certain songs elicit memories and daydreams from you, my faithful and new readers? I have always enjoyed music and considered myself quite the music buff for a while (I'm slightly out of touch now that I haven't purchased a CD in years and my radio in the car is set to one station and one station only). I spent 2 years in high school working away in a music store and I used that time to broaden my music tastes. I'll listen to just about long as I'm in the mood for it.

I am however, mostly hooked on "new rock" and 80's and 90's "rock" and "new wave". In fact, the one and only radio station I listen to is a "new rock" station out of a nearby college town. And during lunch they play.....80's "new wave". See why I love this station?

I searched through my music files on my computer here at work one day and I noticed that I have 1,345 songs. That's just here at work. Think I like my music?

So...I created a new playlist the other day and I threw a lot of 80's, a few 90's and a few country songs on there to listen to here at work. A few minutes ago a song came on and I started day dreaming of Saturday afternoon drives with the windows down and the radio up. I could feel my hair blowing in the wind and the sun warming my face. It was pure bliss.

Then my phone rang and I snapped back to the reality that is my fluorescent hell. Thank goodness it's Friday.

The song, by the way, was Tears for Fears "Everybody Wants to Rule the World". Great song....great song. What songs do it for you?

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Grillz.....I want some

I was browsing my usual blogs this morning and I found this one of the blogger's advice column. I think I'm going to put a pair on my Christmas list. Maybe if I'm a good girl Santa will leave a pair of the red stone fangs under the tree for me. Sure would be nice to get those instead of the lump of coal I'm expecting.

Alright faithful readers....have we come up with some ideas for "The Boyfriend"'s new blog name? I might be forced to come up with something on my own if I don't get any suggestions. For his sake, help a sista out. He might not like my idea.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

The beginning of the end....

Today is the first of November and that means 2 things. 1) I got paid today. Woohoo. 2) Today I start the wonderful journey that is NaBloPoMo. starts the 30 straight posts from yours truly. My, oh my, what did I get myself into?!

I was reading a blog the other day (yes, I know...I read blogs everyday) and this person had a good point about using names for the people you include in your blogs. When I started this blog I didn't want to use real names to protect the identities of those near and dear to me. But this person pointed out that it's hard to remember which "The boyfriend" slammed the car into a tree when you have so many "The boyfriend"s to keep track of. I've given this lots of thought and as much as I love referring to him as "The Boyfriend" the boyfriend needs to be renamed. Hopefully, participating in NaBloPoMo will bring new readers to my wonderful little corner of the world and I'd like for them not to get him confused with some other "The Boyfriend" out there.

I've tried to come up with a clever way to rename the people in my blog and I can't really think of one. So....I'm leaving this out here for you my dear readers (all 3 of you...and yes I know there's a third but, eh hem, he/she doesn't leave any love). How do you think I should rename the "characters" on my blog? I've seen people use just initials and some that change the names completely. Opinions are most welcome on this one.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Victoria's Secret Model?!

There are times that I wish I had a camera. Oh wait...I have a camera phone. Duh! Well, there are times that I wish I had the brains to remember that I have a camera phone. This post doesn't seem right without the picture so I'll just say this....some people should never be allowed to leave their house. What makes some people think that they can wear skimpy clothing with their stretch mark laden beer belly hanging out? Come one now....Victoria's Secret Model?! More like poster child for Streetwalkers R Us.

Okay, okay...I'll try to describe this the best I can. You'll have to use your imagination. If it makes you sick just thinking about be glad that you weren't there to actually see it. Here goes....

Queen of the Nasty had what appeared to be a napkin attempting to be a skirt wrapped around her hips. No lie...this thing was barely 2" long at the longest point. Under this feeble attempt for a skirt was more than likely two strands of dental floss. I'm glad I didn't actually see that part but I could only imagine (I didn't want to...but it happened). She paired this with a black bra that seemed a little too normal for this outfit. Now that I think about (shuddering at the mere thought of it) I'm surprised she didn't have the girls hanging out more. Are you starting to see the mental image? She topped off the outfit with black fairy wings and black fishnet thigh highs that were so tight her legs looked like sausages bursting open on the grill. I know, I know, right now you're thinking that it sounds like nothing was wrong with this outfit and she was probably hot as all get out and I'm just jealous. Well, this would be true if her body was fit and toned. The flab and stretch marks just killed it man. Totally killed it. I really wish I had a picture to post for you so you would see exactly what I'm talking about but no, I forgot about that damn camera phone again.

People...please....think twice before leaving your house looking like you belong on the cover of the Girls Gone Wild:Working Girls DVD.

Friday, October 27, 2006

How many of you are there?
LogoThere are:
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

65 people in the US with my name. Wow! I bet none of them are as kickass as I am though so it's all good. ; )

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Don't forget to fall back!!

This Sunday will end Daylight Savings Time. Don't forget to fall back!!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Am I crazy?!

I found this by reading a blog linked on Jen's page. I don't think I realize what I just did yet but just put my name in the hat. Maybe this is the kick in the pants I need to get back on the blogging horse.

So...yes my faithful readers (all 3 of least I hope it's 3...I know 2 for sure...but please let it be 3) I will be posting a blog a day for the month of November. That means 30 straight blogs from me. Woohoo! I can sense your excitement over this. You're doing your happy dance aren't you?! What did I just get myself into?! 30 straight blogs?! Blog everyday?! Even the weekends?! What in the world am I going to blog about?!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Do a little dance...

Make a little love....Get down tonight....Get down tonight.

I've been doing my happy dance for the past hour 1/2 folks. The boyfriend called then and said that he got the job that we've been hoping for the last week that he would get. This job means all kinds of things to us and our future. More money = lots of things. We can finally afford to find a decent place for all of us to live together. And he can finally afford that nice shiney, fat diamond that needs to be sitting on that all important finger of mine. Hehehehe!!!!!!!

So....if you haven't done your happy dance yet....get off your ass and do it.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006


It's a b.e.a.utiful day today. The sun is shining, there's hardly a cloud in the sky and it's a comfortable temperature. It was just taunting me at lunch today. I could hear the sky saying "Crystal, don't you feel a little sick after eating that TV dinner? Don't you want to call work and tell them you're suddenly sick?"

Instead of being out there enjoying this wonderful day I'm sitting in my personal fluorescent hell typing inventory counts in the system. Let me tell ya, it's not fun.

One good thing about today is that shithead's not here. Yeah, he took of this past Friday and yesterday because he had some kind of freakshow convention to go to. He called in sick this morning saying that he caught something there. That's what happens when you drink people's blood man. You never know what you'll catch.
Anyone catch that new show Heroes last night? Well, I know that Tanner watched it so let me rephrase my question. Hey Jen, did you catch that new show Heroes last night? Man that show kicked ass. I was totally into it and I can't wait for the next episode.
Well....obviously Tanner made it past the infamous 6 month mark. Good for him!! : ) I love you honey!!!!

Friday, September 15, 2006


Today is such a gorgeous day out. It's still a little on the warm side but the sun is shining and there's a nice breeze every once in a while. It's so pretty out that it makes me wish that I was either here with the boyfriend enjoying one of these while Little Man plays in the sand. Or here going down the slides and swinging with Little Man. 3 more hours of fluorescent hell.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Dooooobie dooooobie dooo

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingUnfortunately my girl Janelle got booted out in the final eviction. Funny how that's the same time she got booted last year. I think the final HOH was rigged so that she wouldn't win. I think the producers knew that it would make better TV if the final 2 were Scrubika and Goobie. They didn't want America's Choice, the winner of 9 competitions this season, to make it to the final. I think they need to have their asses examined because their heads are shoved up there. The final 2 was by far the most disgusting final 2 I've seen. Scrubika and Goobie?! was bad.

And talk about bad was it when Chenbot played the footage of Goobie calling Scrubika a ho at the finale? Geez....her family was there. I felt sorry for her when that happened. But then the moment of temporary insanity stopped.

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingMy parents left Tuesday morning for my sister's wedding in Sicily. Yep, my sister decided that she was going to get married in Sicily but couldn't help any of us out with the expense so my parents are the only ones that went. Oh well....I'm sure we'll have some kind of fancy schmancy dinner for them when they get back.

I do send them my well wishes and congratulations though. It's about time those two kids got married. I'm sure I'll have a picture or 20 to post when they get back.

(Still wish I was there seeing the Sicilian beauty in person but I'll look at some pictures when they get home.)

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingKeep your fingers crossed that shithead, I mean shit for brains, oops disgusting coworker...well you get the point...will no longer be employed here. I heard through the grapevine that he will be given his walking papers with his next evaluation in a month. Woohoo!!!!

I do think that I will be calling in sick that day though because I'm a little worried about his mental state. He was seen looking at pictures and descriptions of guns on Wikipedia today. After the shooting in Canada and the news that that crazy had blogged on about the angel of death and what not I'm a little worried about Mr. Black. There are just too many similarities there to not be worried.

I wonder how much $ I would get if it was just a flesh wound. Hmmm......
Photobucket - Video and Image HostingI leave you with today Tannerism. The boyfriend is a HUGE Auburn (bleh....just typing that word gave me the willies) fan. And I am a HUGE Alabama fan (ROLL TIDE BABY!!!!). I've threatened to throw away all of his precious (disgutsting) orange and blue stuff but out of the kindness of my heart I haven't. I'm stuck now...I can't ever do it. He went and...are you ready for this?....are you sitting down?......bought little man and I Bama shirts. Yep...walked in Bama Fever side of the store and purchased those shirts all on his own. Say it with me people....whupped. : )

*For some reason Blogger won't let me add my pics to this. Stupid Blogger!*

>edited Friday September 15th to say....*Took some teaking but I finally got my pictures on here. Had to do it the old Html way but it worked. Blogger needs to fix their picture uploads. Do you hear me Blogger?! Fix the damn thing!*

Thursday, September 07, 2006

RIP Andy

Four years ago today I lost someone that will always have a big place in my heart. William Andy Edwards, Andy as he liked to be called, was my first "true love". I was in love with him off and on for 5 years before we started dating. When I got the phone call that he had died in a car accident I felt like my heart had been ripped out of me. I cried the whole day and I still get teary eyed from time to time thinking about him. He pops into my head at the strangest times sometimes but I know that knowing him and being with him has helped make me who I am now.

My history with Andy is quite a story but I don't want to put it all out here. There's only a few people that read this anyways and the one that should know this story already does.

You can't live your life with regrets because you will miss out on all the good things still to come. Yes there are sometimes that I wonder what would have happened if things had gone differently with me and Andy but then I'm reminded that I wouldn't be where I am now if they had. I do have one small regret about my time with Andy....I don't have a single picture of us. This picture is of Andy's best friend Patrick with Andy in the background. I had to snag it off of Patrick's profile page on Hi5.

So, with that I leave you with one of Andy's saying for someone who was looking down and out...."What's a matter? Did your cat die?"

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

First idiotic comment of the day...

I'm sure SFB will make many more stupid comments today but I thought I would share the first one with you all.

One of our other coworkers just came in to show me a bite he just got on his arm. He said that he was just sitting in his chair and something bit him. The bite has now swollen to the size of a golf ball and is red. I can't tell what it is because I'm not a doctor. I asked him if it itched thinking that it might be a mosquito bite or something. He said a little bit but it hurt for the first five minutes or so. I gave him an alcohol pad and told him to wipe it down to make sure the area was clean. He said okay and went about his merry way. There's really not a whole lot I can do for him because, as I said before, I am not a doctor.

One his way to his desk he walked by SFB. SFB said "What are you talking about?" and he showed him his bite. SFB said "It looks like a spider bite." So the coworker said okay and kept on walking. SFB then said "Just hope it's not a Brown Recluse." So coworker said "That's nice" and kept walking. SFB then said "Trust me, if it was a Brown Recluse you would know. It would really hurt. I have seen some some jumping spiders around here though."

Seriously.....did he need you to put that fear in his head that he might have been bit by a Brown Recluse?! And where did you get your medical degree from?

Goodness people.

Thursday, August 31, 2006


The boyfriend asked me an alcohol induced question the other day and I didn't answer it because it was hard for me to put it into words on the spot. Now that I've had a few days to think about exactly how to express it I think it's time to answer his question....."Why do you love me?"

1) You let me be as goofy and stupid as I want to be and you laugh right along with me.

2) You make me feel like I am the most beautiful person that has ever crossed your path.

3) You don't let a day go by without telling me at least a dozen times how much you love me.

4) You cherish Little Man as if he was your own.

5) You laugh when I sing horribly off key because you know that I'm enjoying myself.

6) You laugh when I dance like an idiot to the radio because you know that I'm happy.

7) Your. Hands. Enough said on that one. ; )

8) When I'm with you I feel like nothing can go wrong.

9) We think so much alike it's gotten to be a bit scary lately.

10) You make me laugh until my face hurts.

11) Your eyes when you look at me.

12) You balance me. When I'm vulgar and obscene you're modest. When I'm modest you're vulgar and obscene. It works. : )

13) You're always trying to help. Whether it's cleaning up the toys when I'm putting Little Man to bed or paying for the gas in my's appreciated.

14) You're my hairy sexy beast. ; )

And last but not least....

15) You're just you and you let me be just me.

I love you Goober!!!!!!!

The Queen Bee

I only have one thing to say.......Janelle is a badass.

Seriously people, she is the best player in Big Brother history. 3 HOH's and 4 POV's?! And the season's not over yet. What did I say at the beginning? This chick is going to win it all.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Monday, Monday

The boyfriend and I headed over to his parents' house this past weekend. Had a good time. Got to spend some time with the family and wish his nephew a Happy Birthday. Plus it was nice just to get away from Monkeytown for a few days.

I experienced horrible traveler syndrome Friday night though. In my rush to pack Friday evening I forgot some things. We were about an hour away from home when I realized that I had forgotten to pack clean underwear. Yep....I was going to have to wear the same pair the next day until we got to the store to buy some. You can imagine my disgust with myself over that one. The boyfriend told me not to worry about it and I finally let it go. We were about 45 minutes away from the parents' house when I realized that I forgot my ID at home. I had put it in Little Man's diaper bag when we were out running errands that day and never put it back in my wallet. I had my temporary license on me but I wasn't sure if they would let me in the club with that or not. So those last 45 minutes were filled with my "Woe is me" about forgetting 2 very important things.


The above mentioned lack of ID didn't matter after all. The waiter at dinner Saturday didn't ask for it when I ordered my margarita and we got to the club so early that we just walked right in. No ID check or cover charge. Worked out I guess.

As we were sitting at the club I said to the boyfriend that we are two mean motherfuckers. We spent the entire time there "people watching". can only imagine some of the observations we made to each other.

Stacy and Clinton from TLC's What Not to Wear would have had a field day with some of the chicks in that place. 1) Head to toe white is not slimming. Chick looked like the abominable snowman. 2) Big girls should not wear itty bitty scraps for skirts or shirts. 3) If the girls are down to your bellybutton and are bouncing a little too wildly, you are not wearing the proper bra.

Some of those chicks needed a good reality slap. And some of their friends needed a good beat down for letting them leave the house looking like that. That's not a friend if she lets you leave the house with the girls all sagging and flopping. It doesn't look good. Not at all. Nope.....not at all.


I leave you all with today's Tannerism. He actually says BURP when he burps.'s pretty darn cute if you ask me. But then again we're just dorks so.....whatever.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Monday, August 14, 2006

Lessons learned

I learned something this weekend while "assisting" the boyfriend with his DJ gig.

1) I'm not built for all nighters anymore. I was so ready to go home around 12 and we had to be there until at least 5. Thank goodness we just lounged around the house yesterday.

2) I'm seriously and utterly disgusted by the way chicks dance nowadays. Sure, I'll shake my ass and "grind" when I'm in the mood to dance but this one chick up there Friday night was downright distasteful. I swear if she didn't have clothes on it would have been porn.

3) Bars have now turned into portrait studios. Yes, it's one thing to take your camera with you when you're out with your peeps so that you can snap a few photos. I even recommend this if you are out celebrating a birthday or an engagement or whatnot. I do not think that you should feel you have free reign to snap a gazillion photos of complete strangers. Seriously, what are you going to do with those photos?

4) My glasses make me look sophisticated. Yep, the afore mentioned photo snapper told me that he wanted a photo of me because of my glasses. He said they make me look sophisticated like a librarian.

5) Some people just don't get the point. Psycho graced us with the presence of her skank ass both Friday and Saturday night. You would think that she would get the point that the more she does this the more it makes me want to get that lovely restraining order out on her.

6) There's a reason why I don't hang out with some people anymore. I was reminded of how much I've changed in the last couple of years when I talked to someone I used to hang out with back in my clubbin days. This person hasn't changed a bit in the past 5 years and it's sad. It's sad that he also could not grasp the idea that I'm not the same clubbin chick from back then.

7) The boyfriend is the absolute sweetest. He managed to buy me a rose from the "Rose Lady" while I was sitting right there next to him. I was playing a game on my cell phone and was totally oblivious to what was going on. Next thing I know he's sticking a rose in my face. Don't know why he bought it for me but it sure was sweet.

8) Sunglasses and toothpicks are now considered accessories. The same guy has come in there every weekend chomping on a toothpick like his life depended on it. Don't know what that was all about. And seriously people, it's 4am, you're in a dark do not need your sunglasses on your head.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Yet another Friday...

In my previous post I mentioned the chick that put that lame ass pick up line on the boyfriend's Myspace page. I thought I was just overreacting at first when I thought that that chick was possibly friends with my psycho internet stalker. What's that old saying about trusting your first instinct? Yep....turns out that those two are best friends.

I got a friend request from psycho on another website yesterday morning. She had sent it the night before. I went on there and denied her. A few hours later she sent me another request. So, I went in there and sent her a message asking why she didn't get the point the first time I denied it. I got to looking at her page on there and noticed that the pick up line chick was one of her friends. So I clicked on her page to see if I could figure out who this girl was and guess what I found.....they have the SAME EXACT profile!! The only things different were the age, height and occupation.

Have look for yourself and see what I mean. Be sure to check out psycho's slide show at the bottom of her page. And check out the pics of psycho on pick up line chick's page. first thought that psycho chick was behind the friend requests and lame ass pick up line was right. She obviously has nothing better to do with her time than to sit around and try to start shit with me. What a loser!

The boyfriend and I watched Without a Trace for the first and probably the last time last night. That show was full of bad acting and it ended weird. Anyways, they were investigation the disappearance of a Korean chick and they found out that she did online dating. Then they found out that one of the guys she blew off had posted an ad online offering sex with her. When they questioned him they told him that they had him for cyber stalking and that it was a felony. Hmmm......I wonder if that's true. Is cyber stalking really a felony? What all do you need to prove that?


Big Brother was a disappointment last night. Kaysar got booted out and it was hard to watch his interview with Julie Chen. Julie told him about James's alliance with Chill Town and Dani. She also told him the things that James had been saying about Janelle. You could see that Kaysar was really upset about it.

I was a little worried about the HOH competition because Erika won. I wasn't too sure which way she would sway with her nominations. I found out by reading the live feed recaps that due to some technical difficulties (which there were) the HOH competition was redone. Guess who won this time. Are you ready? Janelle!!!!! Yep, my girl won again!!!!

Julie also introduced the audience to the Coup d'etat last night. The houseguests don't know what exactly they are competing for but they know that it will shake up the house. It will be interesting to see who gets that one.


The boyfriend has finally started back blogging. After days and days of bugging from me he's finally given in. Be sure to show him some love on his blog.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Stupid people.....

I finally got to check my Myspace last night after a month long absence. I had several friend requests and messages. It's amazing what happens when you don't check it for awhile.

I had a friend request from some chick in a neighboring town. I didn't know who she was and couldn't figure it out from the one picture of herself she had on her page. I was just about to deny the request because it's about time I start to weed out the 116 friends I have on there when I saw that she had the boyfriend and another friend of mine on her page. I asked the boyfriend if he knew who she was and he said no. Of course I asked why he added her if he didn't know who she was and he was all "I dunno." Well, I decided to add her so that we could figure out who she was later. I thought that maybe she saw us out somewhere or knew us through mutual friends. I then hopped over to the boyfriend's page to leave a comment since he left one for me and guess what I found on his page. A comment from that chick saying.........I'm new to town. Can you give me directions to your apartment?

Yep......she posted a lame ass pick up line on the boyfriend's page. Normally stuff like that doesn't bother me but this one did for some reason. I think I'm traumatized by my internet stalker. How can you post something like that after it flat out says that the person is in a relationship and they have comments from their significant other on their page talking about how much they love them?

Not only did he got that but I got a message from a guy from my past telling me that I look great now and asking what I was up to. Oh, there was that other message from that local band too saying that they hoped I would come out to see them play because I was cute.

HELLO?!?! I'm in a RELATIONSHIP! I'm HAPPY in my relationship. Geez people!! Learn to read!!!


Big Brother was good and bad last night. I had cheated the other day and read some of the live feeds. I already knew who was going to win the veto and who was going up in their place. It was still good to watch so that I could see everyone's reactions.

Dani and James had hatched this plan to put James up as the pawn against Janey because Dani said that she needed the "Veto King" to compete because he was the only one that stood a chance of beating Janey. They were hoping to have Will and Boogey compete as well because they thought that they would fight to keep Janey from winning as well. It turns out that Will and Boogey did get to play. If I didn't already know that Janey was going to win the veto I would have been nervous.

After Janey whopped ass and won the veto Dani put up.......Kaysar. Yep...she put up the Iraqi Peach. That was disappointing. I can understand why she did it but I hate to think about him leaving this week.

I think that Kaysar's going to be able to spin the votes in his favor but it will be tough. It's going to be interesting to watch Thursday to see who gets evicted and who gets HOH.

Keep your fingers crossed that James goes home this week.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Monday....why can't the week start on Tuesday?

I really liked James last year. I thought he was a really strong player and it was great to see him really go after it after Sarah was evicted. This year I can't stand him. I think he is the biggest back stabbing asshole in the house. He's constantly sitting there bad mouthing Janey behind her back and saying that she's the dumbest person in the house and blah, blah, blah. Ummm, hello?! She got rid of you last year. Geez man!! I hope somebody wises up and gets his ass out of the house real soon.

Evil Dr. Will and Mike Boogie are starting to grow on me. I didn't like them at first but they've turned out to be pretty entertaining. I still wouldn't trust them but I think if Janey plays her cards right she's going to make it to the final three with at least one of them.

And Chicken I love that man! I would really like to see him win HOH soon. He needs that little bit of home to remind him of what he's in there fighting for. That man has got a bigger heart than almost all of those people combined.
Tannersim - things the boyfriend says or does that remind me why I love him so much.

1) We meet for lunch everyday at his apartment since it's close to both of our jobs. Sometimes we talk about what we're going to have for lunch but most of the time we don't. He normally beats me to the house and last week I walked in to find him making grilled cheese sandwiches for me. We each wanted 2. The first of the 4 came out perfect. The rest......not so perfect. He let me have the perfect one.

2) We went to the zoo this weekend with Little Man, my sister, my niece and my nephew. He put Little Man in his stroller and pushed him almost the whole time like it was nothing. He looked so natural pushing that stroller.

3) He has these sayings that crack me up everytime I hear them and I can't help but say them myself. He's always so proud to hear me say one of them such as..."As a wise man once said....shit." "It's just a plot." "It doesn't get any greener than that."

4) We were moving from one table to another at the pool hall the other day and he motioned to the empty table and said "Space". I said "the final frontier" and we both laughed at how we just had a major geek moment and it was alright with us.

5) Let's not forget the BEAUTIFUL lilies that he sent me the other day because he knew that I was at home with a sick Little Man.

There's so many more but I can't really put into words all of the little things he does for me. In the words of Christina Aguilera "Ain't no other man".

Friday, August 04, 2006

TGIF or something like that

It's Friday! Woohoo and all that jazz!! I'm looking forward to my weekend with my little man but I'm sad that the boyfriend won't be there as much as I'd like him to be. He has to work that part time DJ gig again this weekend so he'll only be at the house for a little bit this weekend. It will a little hard to think about him sitting up there without me this weekend. Not that I don't trust him or anything. That is so not the case. I just don't trust some of the people (okay one chick in particular) that will be up there. I have 100% faith in him that he will put her in place though. And no honey, I'm not talking about psycho internet stalker.

My mom, or Gigi as little man calls her, is out of town this weekend. She decided to take a trip to my sister's house in ATL to do some shopping for my sister's upcoming wedding that I'm not going to. That will have to be another blog one of these days. Since she's out of town it's going to be just me, little man and the boyfriend hanging at the house tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it.


SFB struck again today. We had our monthly birthday celebration in the office today and it was my month to bring food. I brought in a container with some cheese, crackers and grapes. I was carrying it all back from the office where we have the party earlier and I had my hands full. I had to set down my drink on the tiny little window sill outside the door to my office so I could somehow get the door in. It was one of those moves where I had to pull the door open and then catch it with my foot so I could get in without dropping the tray, boxes of crackers, container of grapes and my drink (that I also had to grab off of the sill). I walked in the door and he was just sitting there looking at me like "Huh?" His desk faces the door to our office so he can see if somebody's walking to the door. I said "it was really nice of you to open the door for me since you could see that I was coming and I had my hands full." He just sat there stammering out his usual reply...."SSSOOOORRRYYY!" Yeah, uh huh.

Then he went to the other building to get a drink and when he came back in the door to our office he let a wasp in. He just stood there looking at it like "What's that?" Singer told him to go get some spray so we could kill it and he was all "from where?" Then he yet again stammered out his usual "SSSOOOORRRYYY!"

I'm telling you folks, this guy is a real winner.


I have switchboard relief duties today. I had to cover the switchboard during lunch. Yep, it was a lot of fun. Occasionally we'll get people that will call the switchboard and start telling you their problems and you have to figure out the right person to send them to. You see, I work for a state agency that helps people with disabilities such as blind, deaf, mental disabilities, and physical disabilities. I had a rather funny call during lunch.

Caller: Is this Tina?
Me: No, it is not.
Caller: You just said the worst thing you could say to me....No and then it is not. I'm enrolling back in school. Yeah, I'm going back to get my degree in rocket science. I want to build a rocket using UFO technology. I'll think I'll build it out at Maxwell so I can hide it. Sounds like a good plan right?
Me: Yeah, that sounds like a good plan alright.
Caller: Well, I applied for my Pell Grant. What all do I need to take to Tina? I know I need to bring her the letter showing her I got my Pell Grant and my 2005 tax return. Is there anything else I need to bring?
Me: Sir, if you would tell me what Tina's last name is I'll connect you to her and she can tell you that herself.

I don't know if this guy was serious or not. Kinda makes me wonder about some of the people that we're sending to school. It's great that we help people out like that but that was just too weird.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Disgusting Coworker

We've had this guy working with us for about 6 months now. He seemed a little off when he first started but I didn't want to be too judgmental. My first instinct about this guy was right......He's definitely a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

The other chick in my office, who shall be known as Singer, affectionately dubbed him Freakboy one day. She was telling her husband and friend about some of the weird things he does and she thought that was the perfect name for him. While I was retelling his disgusting habits to the boyfriend one day I decided that Shit For Brains (SFB) was a better name. I kid you not, dude has some serious issues.

1) He's been wearing the SAME outfit to work 4 out of 5 days a week since he started. He changes it up on Fridays and wears jeans. I'm so sick and tired of walking in the door in the morning and seeing his black shirt and black pants. And the hair....ewww!!! I can't tell if it's slicked back with gel or grease.

2) He SMELLS!!!!! At first we thought it was really bad body odor. He had told me and Singer that he pays his friend's parents $200 a month just to sleep at their house. He supposedly goes to his parents' house every night to take a shower. Sometimes I think he forgets. Singer thinks the smell now is coming from his clothes. She thinks that he hasn't washed them in awhile. I think it's a combination of both.

3) He's into vampire role playing games and he talks like he should be living in the Matrix. I always say "To each their own" but this is ridiculous. He's said so many off the wall things that I've seen several people walk away from him while he was talking because he wasn't making any sense.

4) He sleeps at his desk constantly. And when he's not sleeping or playing his RPGs he's listening to 90's Pop music. Yeah, I didn't think that would be his music choice either.

This one tops the cake though.

5) Singer called me after she walked out the door this afternoon (she leaves at 430 and we're here til 5) to tell me that right before she left she saw him pick his nose, inspect the booger on his finger and then flick it on the floor. EWWWWW!!!!!!!

I already hold my breathe when I have to use the pencil sharpener or hole puncher that sit on the bookcase behind his desk. Now I'm going to have to watch my step when I'm over there.

Excuse me, I think I just threw up in my mouth.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Blah blah blah

I know I haven't written on here in awhile but I have good reasons for it. 1) I've had a case of Blogger's Block and 2) The only person that had been reading this is the boyfriend and hell, I talk to him ALL day. But he asked me the other day why I haven't written anything so I guess this is for him. Although I did find out a little while ago that he deleted the link to my blog from his favorites list because I hadn't written anything lately. Isn't that encouraging.

So, I had my first real life encounter with my internet stalker this past Saturday. Chick had been stalking me online for the past year. Everytime I would put a profile on a page like Yahoo 360 or Hi5 she would find me and send me a friend request. Then she would start sending friend requests to people on my friends list. I didn't really give her a whole lot of though because the brief online chat we had one day showed me how much of an immature psycho she was. Well, the boyfriend was doing his part time DJing gig this past weekend and she just happened to show up. I really don't think she was there intentionally to start shit with me but boy did she try to. She went up to people that she had seen on my friends list and started telling them that I was fucking around on the boyfriend. Yup.....she sure did. Then she sent him a message on Myspace the next day telling him that I was driving to another city every other weekend for a booty call with some guy I've never met who just so happens to be her exboyfriend. Yeah, I'm doing that alright. Hell, I didn't even know where that town was until the other day and I'm with the boyfriend 7 DAYS of the week. How was I doing that?! I must have been sleep driving cause I certainly don't remember it.

But it gets better folks.....she told the boyfriend that she wanted to kick my ass Saturday for giving her dirty looks. Ummm.....I didn't even acknowledge that she was there. I think that's what caused her diarrhea of the mouth. Oh, and she had enough nerve to send me a message saying that I was jealous of her. Yup, I'm so jealous of her. I wake up every morning saying to myself that I wish I could be a 5head (she doesn't have a forehead) skank that has the intelligence of a 7th grader. Damn, how did she figure that one out.

I think she finally got the point though because neither the boyfriend nor I have received anymore messages from her. Thank goodness!!!

On a good note the boyfriend and I will be taking a cruise to Cozumel in March. Keep your fingers crossed that he doesn't realize what a looney I am before then. He might want to throw me overboard if he does. Just kidding!!

Okay folks, it's about that time to get my happy ass on the road home.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Big Brother All Stars

Big Brother is the one reality show that I get totally hooked on. I started watching it about halfway through season 4 and have been addicted ever since. Season 5 gave us the crazy twin twist that was awesome to watch. I still can't believe they pulled it off like they did. Season 6 gave us some interesting competitions and nasty back stabbing. It also taught us to never underestimate the blonde cocktail waitress. Janelle played the dumb blonde pretty well at first and then she let them know that she was a force to be reckoned with.

This year Big Brother has decided to do an All Stars season. 20 competitors from all 6 seasons were picked and America voted for their favorite 8. The producers chose the remaining 6, putting 14 All Stars back into the house.

Here's the breakdown by season of who all is back in the house.

Season 1 - Chicken George
Season 2 - Dr. Will and Mike "Boogie"
Season 3 - Danielle and Marcellas
Season 4 - Erika and Alison
Season 5 - Nakomis, Diane and Jase
Season 6 - Janelle, Howie, James and Kaysar

This season looks like it's going to be a good one since alot of the people back in the house were pretty conviving in their previous season. I'm picking my winner now.....Janelle. I think she's going to take home the big bucks. She's smart and a great player. Shoot, in the first week she's already won Co- Head of Househould and the Power of Veto. Go girl go!!!!

Monday, July 10, 2006

Happy Birthday Tanner!

Today is the boyfriend's birthday. I wanted to post a couple of pictures of the two of us on here but WE DON'T HAVE ANY.'s been almost 4 months and no pictures of the two of us. Guess we better get on the ball with that one.

Anyways.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY TANNER!!!!! I love you!!!!

Little Man

Monday Blahs

I hate Mondays. I really hate Mondays after a holiday week. I've been at work for an hour and I don't think I've done one work related thing yet. Normally that doesn't bother me but I feel like I'm 2 weeks behind on everything. I just can't seem to get motivated to do anything.

Little Man was exceptionally cute this weekend. 1) My mom's chronic bronchitis started flaring up and everytime she coughed Jordan would cough and laugh about it. 2) Jordan has officially started calling my mom "GiGi" or "NaNa". 3) He called my dad "Boppa" several times this weekend. 4) He called Tanner (the boyfriend) TaTa all weekend. 5) While he was down for his nap Tanner left to play golf. When Little Man got up from his nap he kept looking around the room going Ta Ta. 6) He now owns a stuffed tiger (thanks alot Poppa....we're Alabama fans thank you very much) and he was saying "tider" last night. 7) I aksed him if he had a stinky butt and he immediatley walked into his room and waited for me to come change his diaper.

There's so many things he did that it's hard to list them all here. It's just amazing how much he's growing up. He is such a smart cookie too. Thank goodness he got his momma's good looks and smarts. : )